Nationalities

Pick your nationality to find out it's advantages (or not as the case may).

This is a slightly edited version of the original by an unknown author. It is not meant to offend.

Where are you from?




Top 10 reasons for being French
1When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2Recent winners of the World Cup and European Cups.
3You get to eat insect food like snails and frog legs.
4If there's a war, you can surrender really early.
5You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
7Allow Nazis to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
8You curse the nations that liberated you, while befriending the Germans.
9You don't have to bother with toilets, just go in the street.
10People think you're a great lover even when you aren't.



Top 10 reasons for being American
1You can have a female president without electing her.
2You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3You get to repeat "Have a nice day!" several thousand times a day.
4You can ignore everyone else.
5If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7You can invent a new public holiday every year.
8You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
10With very little effort you can annoy the French!



Top 10 reasons for being English
1Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.
2Lager shandy.
3You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5Union Jack underpants.
6Expected to insult the French.
7You can live in the past and imagine you're still a world power.
8Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
8Highest drug use in world.
10Your country is responsible for more brutal, senseless killings and military take-overs than any other nation in history.

Nationalities
Last Updated April 1999
Web Page by Robert Warren (webmaster@rtwarren.com)